Welcome to my 100th blog post. That’s only 16 shy of Susannah Mushatt Jones’ age. That’s right, a Brooklyn woman holds the current title of “Oldest Person in the World” according to the Guinness Book of Records. While my blog isn’t nearly that advanced, I’m humbled to hear that some of you have read every single one. And as a tribute to you and to this blog-ennial, I’ve put together, in no particular order:
100 THOUGHTS ABOUT THEATRE RIGHT NOW
the financial model for Off Broadway is broken
there is a fine line between circus and theatre
LES MIS is better with the rotating stage
spin-offs and spoofs have more draw than they ought to have
high brow and low brow theatre don’t interact enough
the Pulitzer and the Tony don’t always get along
supporting actor categories are often the toughest to predict
some people liked THE VISIT
math and science are appearing more and more in the content of plays
Patti LuPone sells mobile phones at an undisclosed corner in Chelsea
known playwrights can raise money for the most undeserving new plays
producers used to trust original material more
ticket buyers used to trust producers more
technical awards are just as important as non-technical awards
sometimes they cast Kelli O’Hara correctly
Neil Patrick Harris can host the Tonys but not the Oscars
Not enough theatre people attend the opera and the ballet
the Broadway marketplace can accommodate no more than three jukebox musicals
Stephanie Block and Stephanie D’Abruzzo might work well together in SIDESHOW as the conjoined twins
playbills rarely make it home in pristine condition without effort
Some of the biggest on-screen stars fall flat on stage
Daniel Radcliffe is a good guy
it ain’t right that theatre-rooted Nathan Lane doesn’t always come out to sign autographs
no one respects the actor who skips the matinee
eleven o’clock numbers are getting too close to eleven o’clock
a good overture gets me every time
the average Broadway usher is female, about 100 years old, and as friendly as a black mamba snake
some people have Broadway careers and some people have a Broadway show
sometimes the biggest parts are less rewarding than a meaty spot in the ensemble
rehearsals are often poorly disguised group therapy
late arrivals to the theatre are the worst kind of people
I’ve never seen anyone unwrapping candy at a Broadway show
some seats are too close to the stage
good actors often spit when they speak or sing
it’s not your ears, singers go flat, even on Broadway
Hugh Jackman is better suited for musicals than plays
non-celeb working actors don’t make as much money as you think they do
too many people get awards based on an earnest performance and a British accent
more people pretend to be excited about classic play revivals than those who are actually excited about them
the understudy is just as good and has to work much harder with a lot less rehearsal
actors generally can’t figure out theatrical make-up
you should have your sides memorized and still hold the pages at the audition
the stage manager can be your best friend
stage moms do exist
very few kids are emotionally equipped to handle a role on Broadway
some producers pretty much “buy” a Tony award
yes, that is a man snoring in the seat behind you
nothing lasts at the Winter Garden anymore
Tituss is great on TV
breaking the fourth wall is almost always fun
when looking at educational theatre programs, look at the current alum and what they’re doing
no one really gets into Julliard-or, at least, keep telling yourself that
if you’re a performer in New York-even a non-musical one-know how to sing and dance a little
karaoke is not the place to try out your 16 bars of pop ballad
Shakespeare in the Park is incredible but elitist-tickets are not really free
pick and choose the times to pay for an orchestra seat
there is an age limit for playing Hedwig—no, really
audiences love a stage animal even more when it performs poorly
the inconsistency of Broadway show times is out of control
God help you if you attend a performance and a summer camp shows up
it’s fair to judge a show in previews because producers charge for tickets; however, you must acknowledge that things may change radically
Joan Rivers was one of New York theatre’s great advocates
no more shows about James Barrie or Peter Pan
comedians and musicians can rent a Broadway house, but it’s not Broadway
you better get a recommendation if you plan to eat on “Restaurant Row”
it’s hard to do “scary” on stage-on purpose
there’s a disproportionate number of “baseball” shows
count on the theater to feel either like Death Valley or the eye of a polar vortex
Bruce Willis can’t come to B’Way fast enough
you can’t just throw money at a show
we all wonder about the mysterious Outer Critics Circle
Broadway houses will never add more stalls to the women’s restroom
chorus girl make-up is evil-clown-terrifying up close
Marty McDonagh’s play is going to be loud
there’s not necessarily a link between theatre literacy and talent
Manhattan’s Off Broadway theaters shouldn’t be eligible for the Regional Theatre Tony
ROCKY should have been a one act, basically the last 25 minutes of the show
we all should have invested in WICKED
SPIDER-MAN: TURN OFF THE DARK will never recoup
Julie Taymor will never stop working
the theatre generation gap is defined by those who remember Charlie O’s and those who don’t
the South Park creators should have written a second musical by now
no one can play a better “Audrey” than Ellen Greene
leaving during the curtain call is rude
walking out in the middle of a bad show is fair game
Flying on stage is played out
The BIRDMAN theater was the St. James
it’s ridiculous that MUPPETS TAKE MANHATTAN has not already been adapted for the stage
An aisle seat in the theater is as good as an exit row seat on the plane
there should be a “time’s up” bell in studio rental spaces like Ripley-Grier
theatre tickets should be sent digitally to mobile phones like boarding passes
Broadway IS the theatre capital of the world, but the West End is still wonderful
no one really dreams of being a “swing”
HAMILTON will end up in a small space at New World Stages selling $35 group rate tickets to high school history classes in 2019
the Lincoln Center Broadway theaters are pushing their luck being so far uptown
it’s wise to preview out of town if your show might be a train wreck
stale musicals need to be totally recast every few years
there should be a museum dedicated to theatre arts in midtown
all the Broadway gift shops pretty much sell the same items
It’s sad that Colony Music closed but good that the Drama Book Shop has not
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